`I have no regrets. I have lived my life to the full. I have enjoyed my career and my leisure time. I would like to live longer, but there is nothing more I have left to achieve.’ 

 

Redclyffe Yacht Club

David A. Hills

Eliza James Flowers Nautical WreathRecently I had the emotional task of planning a funeral for my closest relative, My Uncle David. His life was cut short by pancreatic cancer. When my Uncle phoned me to give me the sad news of his cancer he said to me ` Try not to be sad Patsy. I have no regrets. I have lived my life to the full. I have enjoyed my career and my leisure time. I would like to live longer, but there is nothing more I have left to achieve.’

I wanted the funeral to reflect my Uncle’s personality and way of life.  As I am passionate about flowers I wanted to provide a fitting floral tribute.

I looked through the funeral director’s book containing sample wreaths and I thought `Ostentacious and ghastly in equal measure!’ I wanted a floral tribute that reflected my Uncle’s life and was truly personal to him. I really do not like lilies, although they are commonly associated with funeral services. Symbolically, these flowers are meant to show that the soul of the person has returned to a state of innocence. White lilies symbolise purity and appear at funerals more often than other varieties. Stargazer lilies symbolise sympathy, which is why they are often recommended as an appropriate option for the loved ones of the deceased. Lilies just weren’t the right thing for my Uncle or me. I was quite dismayed at the ubiquitous array of floral tributes that seem to be churned out for funerals. From my Bridal Bouquet Paintings I know that a lot of thought goes into the flowers at a wedding and a good florist will strive to create something unique for each and every wedding. Why not for funerals?

I chose Hilary of Eliza James Flowers to provide my tribute for the simple reason that she understood what I wanted. Hilary’s style of floristry is to include as much local foliage, seed heads and herbs as possible in her work. She loves searching the hedgerows for berries and leaves and her preference is to use flowers cut from the garden where possible. I asked for hedgerow style flowers for my mum’s funeral tribute in the nineties. I was very disappointed. I do believe the florist didn’t really get what I wanted and used conifer clippings with a few berries in a very sparse floral sheath. My tribute looked quite sad compared with the others. However the other tributes contained either lilies or commercially grown ostentacious blooms which did not reflect the free-spirit of my mum. I was determined to do better this time!

I asked Hilary James to provide a fitting floral tribute for my Uncle, who loved to walk in the Dorset countryside and along the coast. The design was to be full of rich colour and texture and a celebration of Autumn. 

Hilary was inspired by a walk around Stourhead Estate. She sat peacefully watching the leaves falling from the trees on a beautiful Autumn afternoon.

Autumn GlowSpindle BerriesRed BerriesRosehipsRed Autumn Leaves

 

Apart from decorating the funeral casket I planned to hold a Funeral Tea at my Uncle’s Yacht Club and wanted floral tributes there too.

Hilary proved to be an amazing florist as she is so passionate about her work. She is a wonderful person to work with as she has such a caring nature, an essential character trait when working on funeral flowers!

Country Walks 

David HillsDavid HillsDavid HillsI have grown up in a family that loves the outdoors and country walks. My Uncle retired to Dorset and enjoyed long walks along the Dorset Coastal Path and in the countryside. He made friends with Kate and his knowledge of wild flowers increased immensely on these walks with Kate as a guide.

When Mr Smiles and I visited my Uncle in Dorset he always planned quite strenuous walks as he knew we were trying to lose a few pounds and get fitter. I often struggled to keep up! We would also walk whatever the weather and last Christmas was particularly vile weather for a strenuous, bracing coastal walk!

Lovely ViewDorset CalmDavid Hills on Dorset CoastWinter Walk

 The floral tribute was made with a lot of love by Hilary James full of references to my Uncle’s life. The casket arrangement was made of hedgerow flowers, berries and foliage which would be seen by my Uncle on his country walks. Hilary used beautiful foliage from the Tregothnan Estate in Cornwall.

In Memorium

 

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Eliza James FlowersCrab apples

 

I specified that crab apples should be included. On my wedding day I gave away home-made crab apple jelly as Bridal Favours. The crab apples had been picked with my Uncle on a walk in the New Forest and lovingly made into jelly using my mum’s preserving pan. Uncle David gave me away at my marriage to Mr Smiles as he had given away my mum (his sister) years before. In his speech at our wedding my Uncle said of my new husband `Simply by getting to know him a little I knew he was a good man, a hard worker and would take care of Patsy. He also makes her extremely happy and I am sure she makes him happy in return. What more could I ask than for Patsy to be happy with a wonderful man, and a man I welcome with warmly open arms.’   It was a very happy day. He wanted to wear the same suit which he could still get into – his `posh’ suit for formal occasions. I decided to hire him a new suit to be the same as everyone else. My Uncle enquired whether he should wear this suit for meals at the Somerleigh Court Palliative Care Nursing Home, even though his illness had got the better of him and he could hardly eat. I decided Uncle David should wear his best suit for his last formal do of his funeral.

Mum's WeddingPatsy and Uncle D

Crab apple jellyCrab applesThe crab apples were a stunning shiny rich ruby red colour with flashes of orange and yellow. However they proved a challenge in the design as they were on thick stems and were very heavy!

Allotment

Apart from his love of walking my Uncle maintained an allotment. He hardly ever needed to buy vegetables as he was largely self-sufficient. It was obvious something was drastically wrong when my Uncle’s diet changed in March and he no longer fancied vegetables for dinner. Uncle D was known for his strawberry growing on his allotment. So much so that he couldn’t make a sailing trip as he was harvesting his strawberries and making strawberry jam! I asked for strawberry leaves in the design. They were placed so I could see them in a cluster, like a miniature strawberry patch.

Strawberry

Eliza James Flowers

When Hilary was out foraging for teasels and haws she found a beautiful baby teasel which was bright and green.Hilary decided to use this as her interpretation of new beginnings in the circle of Life.

Eliza James Flowers

The design was heralded by huge Magical Ruby Red hydrangeas in rich burgundy, orange and purple hues. Hydrangeas remind me of family holidays by the coast.

Eliza James Flowers

I also asked for dahlias to represent my Uncle’s allotment.

Allotment DahliasDahliasDahlia

It was hard to source dahlias in November, However Hilary managed to find some deep purple Black Fox and red Red Cap blooms. Viburnum Tinus from the garden was chosen to lighten the design and Eucalyptus Parvifolia shaped the arrangement, a gentle foliage giving movement. Each end of the long sheath was marked by Photinia Red Robin, chosen for its strength to support the heavy crab apples. Red Robin was placed at various focal points to convey a rich Autumn feel and was enhanced with the Red Cap dahlias and the crabs themselves. Light was introduced by Golden Sparkle, a golden tiny leaved foliage.

Uncle David

 

A love of Sailing and the Coast 

David Hills

Apart from walking as a leisure pursuit my Uncle had a life long love of the coast and the open sea.

Seaside HolidayBeside the Sea

Dubldee

In addition to decorating the funeral casket I planned a Funeral Tea at my Uncle’s Yacht Club and wanted floral tributes there too. Uncle David was never one to sit on his laurels. He used to go out before work and go canoeing for a few hours. This was in a canoe that he had built himself! At the start of his career with Marconi Satellite Communication Systems Uncle David joined their sailing club and purchased his first sailing boat White Lady in 1966 for £60 together with a trailer.This started a lifelong love of the sea and sailing as a leisure pursuit. White Lady was a wooden boat which leaked. Barry Doul crewed for my Uncle and part of this job was to bail out water!

White Lady

White LadyWhite Lady

My Uncle’s philosophy was always make do and mend. He used an old motorcycle engine to run one of his boats. He had a can of petrol in the kitchen which caught fire. Luckily he managed to extinguish the fire before too much damage was done! Other Marconi friends Roger and Jon would also crew for him, having wonderful fun over the years exploring the Blackwater, Stour, Orwell estuaries and even as far as the Swale on the far side of the Thames.

David Hills

Working for Marconi took Uncle David to Trinidad and Tobago where he enjoyed the warmer climate for sailing.

20141206-David Hills West Indies-1 David Hills West Indies-2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 1972 Uncle David purchased a new boat,  a Vivacity 650 which he named Calypso remembering his trip to the West Indies. Calypso was moored at Bradwell Cruising Club where my Uncle was an active club member, exploring the Essex coastline and the French coast.

CalypsoCalypsoDavid Hills

When his longstanding friend Roger died of pancreatic cancer my Uncle purchased his boat Dubldee from his widow Celia. How ironic that my Uncle should also die of this horrible disease. Dubldee is a Trapper 501 for those of you in the know!

DubldeeRedclyffe Yacht Club

 

When David moved to the Dorset coast in retirement he joined Redclyffe Yacht Club and became an active member. He joined many group trips and was known there for his strawberries grown on his allotment which he brought along to summer barbecues.

Redclyffe Yacht Club Rally

I was able to sail with him on occasions and came to appreciate why my Uncle liked his boat so much. My Uncle’s favourite place to sail to was Warbarrow Bay on the Dorset coast. He would row out to shore and have a decent walk along the coast.  He often caught a mackerel for his dinner, washed down with a glass of wine. He liked to anchor up for the night, enjoying the solitude of the sea, listening to the gentle waves lapping against his boat lulling him to sleep. My Uncle had lots of interests and friends. However he was also a very private person. He never married, but was very content and chose to live a simple life. One of his favourite musicians was Acker Bilk. It seemed very fitting to play  Acker Bilk’s clarinet piece `Stranger on the Shore’ at the funeral. My Uncle listened to this piece of music in the last hours of his life. I was able to get him to visualise  being moored up in the peace and quiet of Warbarrow Bay as the sun was setting. David then gently slipped his moorings (figuratively speaking) and passed away.

The Unknown Shore

DubldeeWarbarrow Bay

I chose to host an afternoon tea to celebrate my Uncle’s life at his Yacht Club.  Although it was quite a way to drive I was delighted with the turn out . When I visited the Redclyffe Yacht Club I was struck by the peace and tranquillity of the River Frome where my Uncle’s boat is moored.  I provided Dorset Apple cake and a cream tea, my Uncle’s favourites. We managed to get Dubldee moored along side the pontoon by the club house. Hilary then made a nautical themed wreath to be placed on the Yacht. The wreath included bright blue hydrangeas and dark blue anemonies. I had provided Hilary with images of Dubldee so she could compliment the yacht livery. I made a tribute card with my watercolour painting of Dubldee and this was tied to the wreath.

DubldeeEliza James Flowers Nautical WreathNautical WreathThe floral tributes at Redclyffe were vastly different to those on the casket. The aim of this design was to capture my Uncle’s love of the Dorset coast and his passion for sailing. The tables, serveries and the porthole windows at the club were dressed in navy blue, white and natural colours in French grey buckets. The design had a blue and white Nautical theme. Beautiful shiny navy blue Viburnum berries matched the dark blue stamens and centres of the white anemone Marianne Panda.

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I chose Eringium Orion Questar, a wonderful blue sea-holly which added texture and fitted the coastal theme. White roses complimented and gave light and there were natural additions of the seedhead Scabiosa Stellata and Myrica Gagel to give interest and height.

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At the end of the tea I gave away the posies in the French grey buckets to guests. Hilary also re-assembled the flowers from the casket and any remaining flowers. These were given to my Uncle’s nursing home Somerleigh Court, in gratitude for the wonderful care he received there. The blooms and foliage were made into fireplace arrangements. There was a huge blue and white bouquet made from the residue of the massive blue hydrangeas which was placed in the reception area and three smaller posies were given to residents in need of a bit of cheer.
Eliza James Flowers

 

I am so grateful to Hilary of Eliza James Flowers as her designs formed such a wonderful fitting tribute to my Uncle.

Hilary James ` My brief was done. I was proud that I had executed Patsy’s wishes entirely. I am thankful that Patsy gave me the opportunity to design and construct these most precious tributes and I am glad they gave her comfort at a harrowing time in her life. I hope that the images and notes remind her of her love for her Uncle and her determination that his passion for the coast and countryside of Dorset and her special memories of times shared together, were portrayed in all of the flowers, foliage, fruits and berries that went into the tribute.’

11 Comments

11 Comments on A Fitting Tribute

  1. Emma Sousa
    16th December 2014 at 7:18 pm (5 years ago)

    What a lovely tribute to a wonderful interesting and lovely person. X

    Reply
    • Patsy Smiles
      16th December 2014 at 7:30 pm (5 years ago)

      Thank you Emma. I enjoyed writing my tribute to my Uncle and the floral arrangements from Eliza James Flowers gave me much comfort.

      Reply
  2. Sara Willman
    18th December 2014 at 9:04 pm (5 years ago)

    What a wonderful tribute to a very interesting and special man. A lot of thought went into the floral tributes to capture so many elements of his life. A lot of thought both by you Patsy, and by Hilary. They are beautifully arranged and I know they brought you comfort, both on the day and I’m sure in the future from the photographs and the memories. Lovely to see your happy smiling face on your wedding day, gosh don’t you look like your Mum! Thank you for sharing this post. I’m so glad you found an inspirational florist to work with and thank you for sharing such lovely photographs of the arrangements.

    Reply
    • Patsy Smiles
      20th December 2014 at 2:40 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you Sarah. Glad you enjoyed reading about all the care and thought that went into my Uncle’s floral tributes. Many people have commented on how similar I look to my mum. Our wedding day was a happy day full of smiles.

      Reply
  3. Margaret Forbes
    8th January 2015 at 7:20 pm (4 years ago)

    Dear Patsy
    I only met your uncle a couple of times at Bradwell Cruising Club – on a Strawberry Tea jaunt up a creek at Walton Backwaters, but we had a lovely time with him. When he moved to Redclyffe I mentioned him to a friend of ours who also kept his boat there – Peter Lusty – so I hope they met. I am currently editing the Newsletter for BCC, which he used to do in the early days of the Club.

    What a beautiful tribute in both words and flowers. I think he would have been quite overwhelmed, but well done.

    Reply
    • Patsy Smiles
      8th January 2015 at 11:01 pm (4 years ago)

      Dear Margaret
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my tribute to my Uncle. I am pleased my letter to Bradwell Cruising Club reached you. My Uncle received a couple of Christmas cards from possible club members so I did want to let the Club know. Please do mention my Blog Post in the Newsletter if it is relevant. Best Wishes Patsy

      Reply
  4. Phillip Shaw
    26th January 2015 at 11:34 am (4 years ago)

    Dear Patsy,

    I was just searching for a boat I’d owned owned on the off chance someone had put better pictures of it on the Internet than Id got and found your lovely page.

    I bought Calypso from Tollesbury marina back in the mid 90’s and kept her on the Orwell for about 5 years before I sold her. I’m now living in Australia and was talking with a guy about the design which got me looking just now.

    I wish I’d have kept Calypso, she was a lovely boat which sailed well in all conditions. I can still remember the detailed log David had kept for the solar/battery consumption. I reckon he was very methodical and liked to know how things worked…

    I have a few pictures if you’re interested, just let me know.

    Many thanks

    Phillip Shaw

    Reply
    • Patsy Smiles
      26th January 2015 at 10:27 pm (4 years ago)

      Dear Phillip, I am so pleased you found my tribute to my Uncle with the photos of his boat Calypso. How amazing that you sailed Calypso too! I am now looking for a buyer for Dubldee, but Australia is a long way to sail her to find you! You’re right my Uncle was meticulous in his record keeping and the amount of paperwork we have to sort is quite overwhelming. I am glad my Blog Post brought back fond memories. If you do have any photos I would love to see them. Best Wishes, Patsy Smiles

      Reply
  5. Hilary James
    29th January 2015 at 6:55 am (4 years ago)

    Dear Patsy,

    I thought I had left a comment when you posted this Blog last year. This is an incredible testament. Thank you for your trust in me. The gathering of the special foliages, fruits and flowers which gave you so much comfort was indeed a challenge and I am happy that all your special memories were captured.

    My best wishes
    Hilary

    Reply
    • Patsy Smiles
      29th January 2015 at 9:56 pm (4 years ago)

      Dear Hilary,
      You did my Uncle proud! Your wonderful care and attention to detail brought me so much comfort at a sad time.
      Thank-you,

      Patsy x

      Reply
      • Hilary James
        8th April 2015 at 10:13 am (4 years ago)

        it was my pleasure Patsy, gave me a huge challenge and I loved doing the research and design. Hoping we are going to be Dorset flower girls for a long time. XX

        Reply

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